Why Isn’t My Heart Meant For You
by lmbrtvll
Summary: The aftermath of "Wilson's Heart". Angst, drama...what becomes of House and Wilson. One shot.


"Why Isn't My Heart Meant For You"

"Why Isn't My Heart Meant For You"

Disclaimer: I don't own House or anything affiliated.

The ground was cold, permeating his thin clothing causing his body to shiver uncontrollably. Then again, maybe it wasn't just the cold tile floor he was currently sprawled on, maybe the entire bottle of Vicodin he had just ingested was a contributing factor.

He hadn't planned this.

_If roses are meant to be red_

_And violets to be blue_

_Why isn't my heart meant for you_

He just couldn't bear to face anything anymore. He had no strength left. He heart had been calling for Wilson for so long; Wilson never answered. They hadn't spoken since Amber's death. And of course House blamed himself.

Luckily his heart no longer felt anything, it beat as an unfeeling vestige to his life previous to the day he began to hate himself. He was alive alright, Cuddy made sure of that. She sat with him after his seizure. She may have been able to resurrect his dying body, but not his heart.

That was lost to Wilson.

_My hands longing to touch you_

_But I can barely breathe_

_Starry eyes that make me melt_

_Right in front of me_

He had been numb for weeks. Going about his routine barely speaking to anyone. Solving cases that he no longer had any appetite for. He usually ended up letting his fellows do most of the work and letting them take most of the credit. What was the point anymore?

He was a bad person.

_Lost in this world_

_I even get lost in this song_

_And when the lights go down_

_That is where I'll be found_

Sure, he may be able to save lives but he was oh so good at ruining them too. Just ask Wilson.

He didn't deserve a second chance. Yet it was granted to him. This time he would make sure there would be no more chances.

So tonight was the night. He sat himself down on his bathroom floor with his newly refreshed bottle of pills and a small glass of water. No way he'd be able to dry swallow all the pills.

And it was done in moments. He didn't even realize he finished the bottle. Nothing to do know but wait. As his body got heavier he relented and lay down across the floor. No need to pass out and hit his head on something; no need to make a mess.

He swallowed a lump in his throat as his thoughts drifted to Wilson. He had called him so many times only to leave countless messages on his machine; apologizing, begging. Anything to get the man he _loved_ back.

_This music's irresistible_

_Your voice makes my skin crawl_

_Innocent and pure_

_I guess you heard it all before_

House had thought himself incapable of loving after the infarction. He thought that maybe the clot had killed a piece of his heart, the one responsible for the ability to feel love, the day it killed his leg.

He was so wrong. He felt such emotion for Wilson that it scared him. And it broke him more and more each day Wilson continued his silence. It broke him until he could feel no more.

Surprisingly, House could never hate Wilson. Deep down inside he almost understood the silence. It didn't make it hurt any less but there was a level of understanding. Maybe that's why it was so easy to swallow all the pills.

_Mister Inaccessible_

_Will this ever change_

_One thing that remains the same_

_You're still a picture in a frame_

And now his body was slowly shutting down; joining his heart.

'It will all be better this way,' he tells himself. And truly, it will be. Wilson won't have to look at his face only to be reminded of losing Amber.

His surroundings were getting blurry, his chest heavy.

_Lost in this world_

_I even get lost in this song_

_And when the lights go down_

_That is where I'll be found_

House was lost. He was lost in misery, slowly drowning. And now he had reached his breaking point. In minutes it would all end. His suffering would be put to a stop.

His chest was beating wildly. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears. Images of him and Wilson flashed before his eyes and a smile slowly and sadly spread across his lips.

_I get lost in this world_

_I get lost in your eyes_

_And when the lights go down_

_That's where I'll be found_

He was gasping for air at this point. He thought for a moment he could almost see Wilson's brown eyes gazing down upon him lovingly. 'Too late,' thought House.

'Too damn late.'

_I get lost in this world_

_I get lost in your eyes_

_And when the lights go down_

House closed his eyes one last time. Ready to give in. At peace. And then strong hands were holding him. He opened his heavy lids. The deep brown eyes really were there.

Wilson.

"Just relax House, I'm here. The ambulance is coming. Don't give up. I'm sorry. I…I love you. Stay here for me." Wilson rocked House soothingly in his arms.

House fought.

_Am I the only one_

They would make it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Comments appreciated.

Song: "Lost" by Anouk


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